The Right Way to Deal With Our Emotions
Have you ever experienced going to bed with a heavy sensation inside your chest? Like something doesn’t sit right. Perhaps, you ended a sour conversation with your significant other, or you were called out at work. Conflicts are not just about disagreements and misunderstandings. Most likely, it was how the conflict made you feel that truly sparked the heavy feeling. During our day-to-day lives, conflicts can happen more than once, and we must be able to overcome our emotions that come with it in the right way.
Expressing emotions, a paradox
Emotions are the threads to the fabric of our existence. It’s normal to have them because they play an important role in knowing who we are and our surroundings. We learn that happiness looks like a smile on our faces. Sadness is the frown and lack of spirit in our eyes. Although it may sound simple, the circumstances and factors as to why emotions rise varies. The point is, it is normal to have them. They make up most of our interactions and fill in the colors of our social canvas. Our emotions create either tremendous or little impact on how we interact with other people and learn about life.
Despite the vital role that emotions play in our lives, as a society, we avoid talking about feelings, specifically the negative ones. According to an article by Shpancer (2010), it is understandable to avoid negative emotions because they don’t feel good, and they are often connected to negative events. Moreover, there is the momentary relief that avoidance can provide us. It is quicker and easier to deal with emotions just by ignoring them.
However, avoidance poses a temporary relief to what might become a life-long problem. Shpancer added that our coping skills diminish when we dismiss our emotions. Also, it is undeniable that past events can repeat itself, so the question is, will you refrain from facing your emotions again? How come we can’t treat our feelings as if it’s the glass of water you drink each day? It’s normal to be thirsty, and it’s just as understandable if you need to drink water.
Listening to emotions, a signal
Knowing how to deal with our emotions the right way, not with avoidance, starts by listening to it. You can’t literally hear what your loneliness means, but you can practice becoming self-aware when you usually happen to feel it. Think of emotions as a notification on your social media. It pops up for a reason. For example, when something we value has been taken away from us, we feel angry. A range of feelings quickly shoots up in our heads, which, in return, compels us to take action. We either stomp our feet or punch something. Likewise, in William’s article, he said that “emotions are responses to our experiences” (2018). It’s best to evaluate our experiences as a gentle reminder that we are humans because we can feel.
When we listen to our emotions, we can check what feelings are coming at us and why we are feeling that way. It’s becoming a friend to ourselves. Our friends would not quickly brush away your emotions, rather, sit down with you. The same applies to yourself. Once you start lending an ear to how you feel, the reason behind the emotions will surface and give you clarity. Any past repressed feelings won’t muddle it. More than that, when another similar situation comes up, you can understand that whatever you are feeling is normal, valid, and can be dealt with the right way, the kinder way.